1 00:01:10,186 --> 00:01:12,849 And that is why, gentlemen, my government... 2 00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:17,483 together with all the other peace-loving governments throughout the entire world... 3 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,892 denounce the East and West alike as hypocrites... 4 00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:24,364 and imperialistic warmongers. 5 00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:25,832 WOMAN: No, no, no. 6 00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:30,064 Lower the level of your voice. It has too much bluster. 7 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,505 If you are to upset the disarmament conference... 8 00:01:32,675 --> 00:01:36,043 your tone must be more vital. And much more threatening. 9 00:01:36,412 --> 00:01:40,247 Ah, your criticism is most useful, my Lubchek. 10 00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:44,855 [APPLAUSE ON RECORDING] 11 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,354 MAN [ON RECORDING]: And that is why, gentlemen... 12 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:52,087 that my government, together with all the peace-loving... 13 00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:55,231 Ambassador Laslo Kurasov, gentlemen. 14 00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:57,333 Speaking at the disarmament conference. 15 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,594 A ruthless and dangerous warmonger... 16 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,829 hiding under the cloak of diplomacy. 17 00:02:02,005 --> 00:02:05,339 One part Molotov, one part Von Ribbentrop... 18 00:02:05,508 --> 00:02:08,535 salt with Genghis Khan and garlic with Machiavelli. 19 00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,943 This magazine puts it well: 20 00:02:11,114 --> 00:02:13,515 "Though his nation is only a spit in the Balkans... 21 00:02:13,683 --> 00:02:15,811 Kurasov's power is awesome. 22 00:02:15,985 --> 00:02:18,079 An old revolutionary comrade of his premier... 23 00:02:18,254 --> 00:02:21,452 the ambassador also speaks for those who are eager for a war... 24 00:02:21,624 --> 00:02:23,252 between East and West." 25 00:02:23,426 --> 00:02:26,123 Objective: The premier and his country pick up the remains. 26 00:02:27,597 --> 00:02:29,793 Then you'll understand Section One's decision. 27 00:02:29,966 --> 00:02:34,028 It will be your job, Mr. Solo, along with Mr. Kuryakin here... 28 00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:37,572 to see that Kurasov is removed from the international scene. 29 00:02:38,308 --> 00:02:39,308 Permanently? 30 00:02:41,177 --> 00:02:46,206 Yes, but not by any means that'll make him a cause célèbre. 31 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,978 He must be reduced to complete nonentity. 32 00:02:50,153 --> 00:02:55,057 Absolutely useless to his government and allied disrupters of world peace. 33 00:02:55,225 --> 00:02:58,662 Do you have any idea how we might accomplish that, sir? 34 00:02:59,629 --> 00:03:05,398 Oh, I'm sure the two of you are capable of concocting some diabolical scheme. 35 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,349 [GROANING] 36 00:03:22,085 --> 00:03:25,351 RECEPTIONIST: What is this? - I must see the ambassador. 37 00:03:25,521 --> 00:03:27,683 RECEPTIONIST: Stop. This is embassy is foreign soil. 38 00:03:27,857 --> 00:03:29,985 Police are not permitted without authorization. 39 00:03:30,159 --> 00:03:34,187 Take that up with the State Department. This man's wounded. He needs medical aid. 40 00:03:34,364 --> 00:03:36,856 RECEPTIONIST: Wait. Stop, you cannot go up there. 41 00:03:43,506 --> 00:03:48,240 Strigas YL893. 42 00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:53,443 What is the explanation of this? 43 00:03:53,616 --> 00:03:56,882 He got in an argument with another man just outside the embassy. 44 00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:59,318 The other man pulled a knife, stabbed him and ran. 45 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,323 Wait. He cannot be moved without the ambassador's consent. 46 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:06,122 His pulse is very weak. We gotta get him to a hospital immediately. 47 00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:10,166 Our government does not wish an incident. Take him away. 48 00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,960 [MAN GRUNTING] 49 00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:18,870 Vladeck, check it. 50 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,410 Uh, check what, Excellency? 51 00:04:21,577 --> 00:04:23,205 "Check what?" You fool. 52 00:04:23,379 --> 00:04:28,181 Find out if Strigas YL893 has any significance. 53 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,843 [SIREN WAILS] 54 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,791 SOLO: Splendid job, gentlemen. 55 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:42,094 Thanks, Charlie. 56 00:04:42,832 --> 00:04:46,269 - My compliments to Section Three. - That's a relief. 57 00:04:50,239 --> 00:04:51,867 Yes, I've got that. 58 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,670 Good. Thank you. 59 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,377 Luxury View Motel. Must be a big job. 60 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,947 I hope so... 61 00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:02,950 or the Continental Exterminator Company will be exterminated by its creditors. 62 00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,849 MICHAEL: Patience, Mrs. Donfield, patience. 63 00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:09,459 We'll soon be out of the red, and into a white cottage in suburbia... 64 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:12,652 complete with rose bushes and a built-in barbeque. 65 00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:15,993 ANNE: And children. - And a automatic washer and dryer. 66 00:05:16,165 --> 00:05:18,566 - And a built-in oven. - And children. 67 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,704 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 68 00:05:22,438 --> 00:05:24,600 And creditors. 69 00:05:25,441 --> 00:05:27,069 Come in. 70 00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:32,811 - Good morning. MICHAEL: Well, that depends. 71 00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:34,951 My name is Napoleon Solo. 72 00:05:35,118 --> 00:05:38,850 I represent an organization known as the U.N.C.L.E. 73 00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:42,389 Well, uh, we haven't received your bill. 74 00:05:42,692 --> 00:05:45,787 Well, quite to the contrary. We are here to eliminate bills. 75 00:05:45,962 --> 00:05:48,864 As a matter of fact, a very rich uncle just came to life... 76 00:05:49,031 --> 00:05:51,500 and he's going to take care of all your debts. 77 00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,535 MICHAEL: That's funny. I don't remember entering any contests. 78 00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:59,574 I know all his relatives. No rich uncles. I didn't marry him for his money. 79 00:05:59,742 --> 00:06:03,008 You're Mrs. Anne Donfield. Formerly Miss Anne Cortney. 80 00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:05,774 Graduate of Bennington, 1960. 81 00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,576 And you're Mr. Michael Donfield. 82 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:10,845 Graduated of MIT, 1958, chemical engineering. 83 00:06:11,354 --> 00:06:13,983 One of the top men in your class. 84 00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:18,851 Mr. Donfield, I need a man and I need him quickly. 85 00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,829 But he must have the right background and he must be legitimate... 86 00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:26,401 because a certain party's going to check him out quite thoroughly. 87 00:06:27,236 --> 00:06:29,296 You suit all of these qualifications to a T. 88 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,931 Most importantly, you've just made rather a peculiar move... 89 00:06:33,109 --> 00:06:36,204 and that may very well intrigue the man who checks you out. 90 00:06:41,017 --> 00:06:45,512 You mean like giving up a $35,000-a-year job with a large firm... 91 00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:46,781 for all of this? 92 00:06:46,956 --> 00:06:49,221 I just wanna have a business of my own. 93 00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:52,790 Would...? Would you mind...? 94 00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:55,431 Excuse me, would you mind...? 95 00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:58,966 Would you mind getting out of here unless you want some pests eliminated? 96 00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:01,764 SOLO: As a matter of fact, we want to eliminate one large pest. 97 00:07:01,938 --> 00:07:04,203 More importantly, we want to preserve world peace. 98 00:07:04,373 --> 00:07:07,866 We would like you to accept a position with a non-existent corporation... 99 00:07:08,044 --> 00:07:09,910 manufacturing a non-existent product. 100 00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:11,547 ANNE: What are you doing? 101 00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:14,307 Installing a telephone. 102 00:07:14,484 --> 00:07:18,251 Well, that's very nice of you, but we already have a telephone. 103 00:07:18,754 --> 00:07:20,689 Not like this one, you don't. 104 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:24,692 All right. I may be out of shape, but I can still toss the two of you out of here. 105 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,831 Mr. Donfield, I am sure you can toss us both out of here. 106 00:07:27,997 --> 00:07:30,398 Perhaps it won't be necessary after you hear me out. 107 00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:33,400 And if you still feel the same way, we will leave quietly. 108 00:07:35,071 --> 00:07:36,733 Five minutes. 109 00:07:36,906 --> 00:07:39,671 That's all it will take me to tell you about... 110 00:07:40,076 --> 00:07:41,339 Strigas. 111 00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:46,976 Mrs. Donfield, you look beautiful. 112 00:07:47,149 --> 00:07:49,482 Everything is very beautiful. 113 00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:52,053 But I'm not so sure we're doing the right thing. 114 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:54,349 Your chauffeured limousine is waiting for you. 115 00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:56,322 When does it turn into a pumpkin? 116 00:07:56,492 --> 00:07:58,085 I can assure you that it won't. 117 00:07:58,261 --> 00:08:01,823 You're going to be the guests of the government at an international ball. 118 00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:04,126 Now, one final briefing. 119 00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,792 In about one hour, Ambassador Kurasov and his aides... 120 00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:10,235 are going to discover that YL893... 121 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:13,376 is the code designation for Michael Donfield. 122 00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:16,274 A man who runs an unsuccessful pest-control business... 123 00:08:16,445 --> 00:08:19,210 which is really a front for Strigas headquarters. 124 00:08:19,382 --> 00:08:23,251 Then later at the party, he will discover that Michael Donfield is a very bright... 125 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,751 but cautious young man. 126 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,914 And also that he has two vulnerable spots. 127 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:32,494 He adores beautiful women and he loves strong martinis. 128 00:08:32,662 --> 00:08:35,063 Do you think you can convince him of that? 129 00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:40,063 Well, I can try. 130 00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:41,966 Now, just don't overplay your part, darling. 131 00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:43,138 [CHUCKLES] 132 00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:47,135 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 133 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:48,903 Come in. 134 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,709 The man who was taken from the embassy died in the hospital. 135 00:08:54,884 --> 00:08:58,980 His identity was obliterated by U.S. Army Intelligence. 136 00:08:59,155 --> 00:09:02,717 And what do our agents report about Strigas YL893? 137 00:09:02,892 --> 00:09:06,090 YL893 is a Michael Donfield. 138 00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:09,198 He was one of America's most promising chemical engineers. 139 00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:12,164 Last year, he resigned from a large firm... 140 00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:14,998 to open a small exterminating company on Staten Island. 141 00:09:15,171 --> 00:09:19,233 But that company could be a shield for some other activity. 142 00:09:19,408 --> 00:09:20,967 Strigas. 143 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,669 - You're very clever, Excellency. - No. You're stupid. 144 00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:26,748 Not one of our agents have ever encountered the name Strigas... 145 00:09:26,916 --> 00:09:28,714 either published or in secret file. 146 00:09:28,884 --> 00:09:33,083 So please don't come to me with any more of your insipid conclusions. 147 00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:34,655 - Yes, sir. - I might, however... 148 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:38,283 suggest that you send one of our agents to pay a nighttime visit... 149 00:09:38,461 --> 00:09:41,625 to the Continental Exterminator Company to see what he can see. 150 00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:43,823 I do it myself, Excellency. 151 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,560 Please, don't. I prefer you send someone more intelligent. 152 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,123 MAN [ON PHONE]: This is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. 153 00:10:15,297 --> 00:10:16,697 Hot line for Strigas open. 154 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,835 The president is unavailable at the moment. 155 00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,470 Will the secretary of defense do? 156 00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:26,098 [CHATTERING] 157 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,080 The one on the right is Mr. Donfield. 158 00:10:40,256 --> 00:10:42,691 On the left, his wife. 159 00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,725 Entertain Mr. Donfield, my dear. 160 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,887 Very well, darling. 161 00:10:49,098 --> 00:10:50,657 KURASOV: Who is the other one? 162 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,200 Napoleon Solo. 163 00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:57,940 Agent with the U.N.C.L.E. 164 00:10:58,107 --> 00:10:59,166 U.N.C.L.E., huh? 165 00:10:59,341 --> 00:11:02,334 Obviously assigned to protect Mr. Donfield. 166 00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:04,104 A little too obvious, I think. 167 00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:08,381 Why should a member of a multinational security organization... 168 00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:12,454 be assigned to cover an American project? 169 00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:14,385 Interesting question, Excellency. 170 00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:20,053 Yes. And you might trouble yourself to find out if our friend has returned... 171 00:11:20,229 --> 00:11:22,664 from his exploration with an interesting answer. 172 00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:24,164 Yes, sir. 173 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:25,733 KURASOV: Thank you. 174 00:11:29,872 --> 00:11:31,670 Do not drink the champagne. 175 00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,902 Merely dip your finger in and taste it. 176 00:11:35,177 --> 00:11:36,270 Do as I say. 177 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,448 [HISSES] 178 00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:41,914 Cyanide. 179 00:11:42,084 --> 00:11:45,521 It will be the first of many attempts on your life. 180 00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:47,587 I am not naive, sir. 181 00:11:47,757 --> 00:11:51,592 It is possible that you might have put the poison into that drink. 182 00:11:51,761 --> 00:11:55,493 Perhaps this will help convince you that I did not. 183 00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,499 Colonel Michaelovitch Donyev, huh? 184 00:12:02,004 --> 00:12:06,100 How long have you been assigned to supervising diplomatic personnel abroad? 185 00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:07,971 Five years. 186 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,670 And you were with the state secret police much longer. 187 00:12:10,846 --> 00:12:13,145 That is not generally known. 188 00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:17,376 We are indebted to you, Your Excellency, 189 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,582 for ridding the department of deviationists. 190 00:12:19,755 --> 00:12:22,589 KURASOV: You may tell General Kolodin I do not require watching... 191 00:12:22,758 --> 00:12:25,990 by the running dogs of a secret police. 192 00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:30,465 I have nothing to do with General Kolodin. 193 00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:34,229 I am working as personal courier to the premier. 194 00:12:40,442 --> 00:12:44,379 You may read the microdot at your convenience. 195 00:12:45,648 --> 00:12:47,048 If you are still doubtful... 196 00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:50,846 you can see that the message is in the premier's own handwriting. 197 00:12:53,656 --> 00:12:57,184 - Why did the premier send you? - The premier wishes you to know... 198 00:12:57,359 --> 00:13:00,329 as an old and loyal comrade, that your position is in danger. 199 00:13:00,496 --> 00:13:03,557 Your work disrupting the disarmament conference was too successful. 200 00:13:03,732 --> 00:13:05,667 You are being spoken of as next in line. 201 00:13:05,835 --> 00:13:07,929 Those who have ambitions for the succession... 202 00:13:08,103 --> 00:13:10,436 are working for your elimination. 203 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:13,069 Kolodin. 204 00:13:13,242 --> 00:13:16,906 Eventually either he or I will succeed to the first secretariat. 205 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:21,441 ILLYA [AS DONYEV]: Unless you can achieve a personal, political coup. 206 00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:23,916 Then your position would become so impregnable... 207 00:13:24,086 --> 00:13:26,317 no one would dare to denounce you publicly. 208 00:13:26,488 --> 00:13:28,047 MICHAEL: Never tired, Mrs. Kurasov. 209 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:30,685 You're the most beautiful woman I have ever met. 210 00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:32,556 Oops, I'm terribly sorry. 211 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,253 [ALL LAUGHING] 212 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,030 Ooh, what do we got here? Look at this. 213 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,362 I have a poem for you. 214 00:13:40,536 --> 00:13:42,334 If it be true that I do think 215 00:13:42,504 --> 00:13:46,498 There are five good reasons Why we should drink. 216 00:13:46,675 --> 00:13:48,405 Good wine 217 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,440 A friend 218 00:13:51,714 --> 00:13:55,276 Or being dry Or lest we should be, by and by. 219 00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:56,919 Mmm. 220 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,086 Or any other reason why. 221 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,745 [MICHAEL CHUCKLING] 222 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,757 Excuse me, Madame Kurasov. Darling, don't you think you've had enough? 223 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,987 - We really should be leaving. - Pardon me, madam, I'm a married man. 224 00:14:07,162 --> 00:14:09,290 I've had just about all I can stand. 225 00:14:09,465 --> 00:14:11,400 Will you see that he gets home. I'm taking a cab. 226 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:13,127 SOLO: Yes. If you wish. - Wait, honey... 227 00:14:13,235 --> 00:14:15,830 Come right along here now. 228 00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:18,839 - Excuse me. MICHAEL: Pardon me, I'm terribly sorry. 229 00:14:19,008 --> 00:14:21,705 VLADECK: Is there some trouble? - Yes, my friend is overtrained... 230 00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:23,436 Calvin Coolidge, how are you? 231 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,080 Cal, baby, you wanna taste mine? 232 00:14:25,247 --> 00:14:27,648 I think you've had enough for tonight, Mr. Donfield. 233 00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:30,047 - Let me see you home. - That's democratic spirit. 234 00:14:30,219 --> 00:14:31,915 Democratic spirit. Bless you all. 235 00:14:32,087 --> 00:14:35,353 - Bless you and you and you... SOLO: That's right. You're right about that. 236 00:14:36,558 --> 00:14:37,856 [MICHAEL GIGGLES] 237 00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:43,324 Have you ever heard the word "Strigas"? 238 00:14:43,899 --> 00:14:47,427 Yeah. General Kolodin discounts its importance. 239 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,666 But it could be the answer to the premier's message. 240 00:14:50,839 --> 00:14:52,535 ILLYA: There is to be no answer. 241 00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:55,837 The message is to be destroyed after reading. 242 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,004 Trust no one. 243 00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:07,713 Well, what did you find out? 244 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:11,554 Our agent has inspected the Continental Exterminating Company. 245 00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:14,697 Yes, I know he's inspected it, but did he find anything suspicious? 246 00:15:14,863 --> 00:15:16,024 A secret phone. 247 00:15:16,198 --> 00:15:19,362 The direct line to the president of the United States. 248 00:15:30,279 --> 00:15:34,478 I never should've let him out of my sight. I should have known better. 249 00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:38,512 It was just awful. Honey, you have... You have no id... 250 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,451 What's our next move? 251 00:15:40,622 --> 00:15:42,147 I know how you feel, Anne. 252 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,550 Ugh, do you really, Mr. Solo? 253 00:15:44,727 --> 00:15:46,559 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 254 00:15:57,239 --> 00:15:59,504 Kurasov insisted I spend the night at the embassy. 255 00:16:00,409 --> 00:16:02,173 SOLO: How did your part go? 256 00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:03,403 Fine. 257 00:16:03,579 --> 00:16:06,572 The more I counseled caution, the more intrigued he became. 258 00:16:06,749 --> 00:16:10,015 He is now concerned that his enemy, General Kolodin... 259 00:16:10,185 --> 00:16:14,646 is secretly trying to get Strigas in order to enhance his own position. 260 00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:17,289 Sounds good. 261 00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,561 There's one possible danger. 262 00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:21,959 That aide, Vladeck. 263 00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:24,296 He's very jealous of his position. 264 00:16:25,534 --> 00:16:28,094 He suspects that I may be trying to replace him. 265 00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,102 [ILLYA SCOFFS THEN PHONE RINGING] 266 00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:44,852 - Hello? VLADECK [OVER PHONE]: Mr. Donfield? 267 00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:47,319 - Yes. - Last evening, while you were dancing... 268 00:16:47,489 --> 00:16:50,049 with Madame Kur... With a certain lady. 269 00:16:50,225 --> 00:16:53,923 You indicated some interest in selling your, uh, business. 270 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,066 Might we arrange for you to meet with a prospective purchaser? 271 00:16:57,232 --> 00:16:58,700 SOLO [WHISPERS]: When? 272 00:16:58,867 --> 00:17:01,962 - When? VLADECK: Monday, 3 p.m. 273 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:05,403 That busy orange-colored hot-dog stand off Second Avenue. 274 00:17:05,574 --> 00:17:09,443 If you will hold two hot dogs, as though one were for a friend... 275 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:12,911 I have a problem, I'm under complete surveillance... 276 00:17:13,082 --> 00:17:14,550 every time I leave the hotel. 277 00:17:14,716 --> 00:17:16,651 If you'll walk past the newsstand... 278 00:17:16,819 --> 00:17:19,482 further down that street, say at 2:50 p.m... 279 00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:22,124 your problem will be given special attention. 280 00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:26,956 Why a busy hot-dog stand? 281 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:30,031 Initial contacts are always better in public. It's safer. 282 00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:32,464 Everything must be complicated, nothing too easy. 283 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:35,695 Either for them or us. Otherwise, Kurasov might become suspicious. 284 00:17:35,871 --> 00:17:36,964 What about the newsstand? 285 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:41,308 Well, uh, that's where they take me out. 286 00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,381 Isn't it ridiculous to walk straight into a trap? 287 00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,520 I mean, you could get killed. 288 00:17:51,687 --> 00:17:54,384 That's possible, but in broad daylight on a busy street... 289 00:17:54,556 --> 00:17:57,048 it's more likely I'll get strong-armed by some plug-ugly. 290 00:17:57,226 --> 00:17:59,218 [BABY CRYING] 291 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,468 MICHAEL: Oh, allow me. 292 00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:09,329 Thank you, but I'm... 293 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,475 Oh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 294 00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:16,203 - Please forgive me. MICHAEL: That's quite all right. 295 00:18:18,814 --> 00:18:20,646 Oh, dear. 296 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,748 What's wrong? 297 00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:29,257 I think I just had my 11:00 feeding. 298 00:18:29,591 --> 00:18:31,253 Taxi. 299 00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:37,593 [MICHAEL GROANS] 300 00:18:38,066 --> 00:18:41,093 The lovely little nursemaid over there. Either she confused us... 301 00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,705 or she's a bad shot with the tranquilizing fluid. 302 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:47,400 I'll have to take a chance on the appointment myself. Take him to the hotel. 303 00:18:50,245 --> 00:18:51,543 - What happened? SOLO: Uh... 304 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:54,740 He's a nice guy. He's got a little drinking problem. 305 00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:56,852 CROWD [IN UNISON]: Oh. 306 00:18:57,019 --> 00:18:59,011 [BABY CRYING] 307 00:19:24,046 --> 00:19:26,413 He just had to be burped. 308 00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:56,739 Is one of those a spare? 309 00:19:56,912 --> 00:19:58,813 No. It's, uh, for a friend. 310 00:19:58,981 --> 00:20:01,314 Heh, I'm friendly, Mr. Donfield. 311 00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:04,317 By the way, uh, I'm Mr. Smith. 312 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,649 Would you like to take me for a walk and see my credentials? 313 00:20:09,825 --> 00:20:12,488 Yes. Uh, I'd like that very much. 314 00:20:12,761 --> 00:20:14,161 [CHUCKLES] 315 00:20:21,203 --> 00:20:24,173 Your credentials are very much in order. 316 00:20:24,339 --> 00:20:27,366 And you're also very pretty, Mr. Smith. 317 00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:29,568 But you don't strike me as the kind of person... 318 00:20:29,745 --> 00:20:32,476 who goes around buying a broken-down pest-exterminator business. 319 00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:36,145 Heh, heh. Killing pests is one of my hobbies. 320 00:20:36,685 --> 00:20:39,154 And your business interests me. 321 00:20:41,456 --> 00:20:43,186 Tell me, Mr. Donfield. 322 00:20:43,358 --> 00:20:46,192 What formula do you use for your pesticide? 323 00:20:46,361 --> 00:20:48,125 Well, it's kind of a secret. 324 00:20:48,297 --> 00:20:50,994 Besides, I don't really think your friend could afford it. 325 00:20:51,867 --> 00:20:53,392 Is it Strigas? 326 00:20:53,568 --> 00:20:56,128 Well, uh, could be. 327 00:20:56,305 --> 00:20:58,035 How much is he willing to pay to find out? 328 00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:02,404 Oh, uh, that all depends on what Strigas is. 329 00:21:02,577 --> 00:21:04,546 Well, it's something developed by the Pentagon... 330 00:21:04,713 --> 00:21:07,649 and one of the largest industrial corporations in the country. 331 00:21:07,816 --> 00:21:09,876 A hundred thousand dollars? 332 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:14,386 Ridiculous. I'd say two million would be more to my taste. 333 00:21:14,556 --> 00:21:15,615 Out of the question. 334 00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:20,024 Not for someone who realizes the penalty for selling military secrets is death. 335 00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,856 I, uh... 336 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:26,468 I might be able to arrange for half that amount... 337 00:21:26,802 --> 00:21:30,330 if I could tell my friend exactly what Strigas is. 338 00:21:30,839 --> 00:21:33,866 It's an invisible substance manufactured underground... 339 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:36,739 with an impenetrable security complex. 340 00:21:36,912 --> 00:21:37,971 That's for free. 341 00:21:38,146 --> 00:21:42,083 You wanna find out anything else, it'll cost you $100,000 in advance. 342 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,311 Now... 343 00:21:44,786 --> 00:21:50,783 if you'll be at this address between 1 and 2... 344 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:57,757 with this torn cereal-box top, there will be someone with the other half. 345 00:21:57,933 --> 00:22:00,926 And he will continue the negotiations. 346 00:22:01,103 --> 00:22:02,662 SOLO: Thank you. 347 00:22:03,472 --> 00:22:04,735 Goodbye, Mr. Donfield. 348 00:22:06,274 --> 00:22:08,072 Mr. Smith. 349 00:22:18,954 --> 00:22:19,978 MICHAEL: My head. 350 00:22:20,155 --> 00:22:22,249 A lot more will happen before they're through. 351 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,893 SOLO: And we're getting near. Every step brings us closer. 352 00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:26,995 The next move may bring him into the net. 353 00:22:27,162 --> 00:22:29,358 ANNE: What am I to do while he keeps this appointment? 354 00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:33,093 Pray that Mr. Smith doesn't realize that she did business with the wrong man. 355 00:22:33,268 --> 00:22:36,830 The others would recognize Napoleon, so he can't continue with the deception. 356 00:22:37,005 --> 00:22:40,066 SOLO: All right. It's 12:30, Mike. Here. 357 00:22:40,909 --> 00:22:42,537 MICHAEL: Honey. 358 00:22:44,079 --> 00:22:47,777 - Goodbye. ANNE: Mike, please be careful. 359 00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:50,680 Oh, I will. 360 00:22:56,658 --> 00:22:58,854 - Mr. Donfield? MICHAEL: Yes. 361 00:22:59,027 --> 00:23:00,962 My name is Linkwood, sir. At your service. 362 00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,825 MICHAEL: How do you do? - This way, please. 363 00:23:02,998 --> 00:23:04,091 My secretary tells me... 364 00:23:04,266 --> 00:23:08,135 you'd be interested in taking out a group policy on the employees of your firm. 365 00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:10,204 For the Continental Exterminating Company. 366 00:23:10,372 --> 00:23:11,806 Sit down, please. 367 00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:13,874 All right. 368 00:23:14,042 --> 00:23:19,208 Now, if you'll, uh, just bear with me while I fill out these forms. 369 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:24,378 How many employees did you say were in your firm, Mr. Donfield? 370 00:23:24,553 --> 00:23:25,553 MICHAEL: Two. 371 00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:29,685 Did you say two, sir? 372 00:23:30,459 --> 00:23:31,688 My wife and I. 373 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:33,828 Your wife and you. 374 00:23:36,231 --> 00:23:37,961 I see. 375 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,465 Mr. Donfield. 376 00:23:40,635 --> 00:23:43,696 I'm afraid you're in the wrong department. 377 00:23:43,872 --> 00:23:46,535 Group policies are handled here. 378 00:23:46,708 --> 00:23:49,075 Family-insurance plans on the next floor. 379 00:23:51,746 --> 00:23:53,772 Well, if it's... 380 00:23:53,949 --> 00:23:55,212 references you want... 381 00:24:00,155 --> 00:24:01,248 References? 382 00:24:04,392 --> 00:24:07,624 A box top from a cereal carton? 383 00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:14,025 Well, it isn't any good without the other half. 384 00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,340 I mean, if you want the free stuffed teddy bear. 385 00:24:18,507 --> 00:24:20,772 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 386 00:24:20,942 --> 00:24:22,171 You know what I mean? 387 00:24:24,479 --> 00:24:27,847 You don't know what I mean? Do you? 388 00:24:31,653 --> 00:24:33,121 Well... 389 00:24:34,623 --> 00:24:36,182 May I? 390 00:24:49,504 --> 00:24:51,302 [SIGHS] 391 00:24:54,342 --> 00:24:56,709 Now, what about Strigas? 392 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,039 What about it? 393 00:25:02,717 --> 00:25:06,848 Your down payment. One hundred thousand dollars. 394 00:25:09,691 --> 00:25:11,592 What is Strigas? 395 00:25:13,695 --> 00:25:17,962 It's a chemical formula that will revolutionize modern warfare... 396 00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:22,833 [OVER SPEAKER] even more than Einstein's E=mc². 397 00:25:30,011 --> 00:25:32,742 Well, Mike, how nice to see you. 398 00:25:32,914 --> 00:25:34,974 SOLO: Well, Mr. Smith, I'm delighted to see you. 399 00:25:35,150 --> 00:25:37,642 What are you doing? Just passing by here or what? 400 00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:39,913 No, I was in the neighborhood... 401 00:25:40,088 --> 00:25:43,320 and thought I'd investigate some insurance possibilities. 402 00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,192 Continue, Donfield. 403 00:25:45,927 --> 00:25:47,759 That's all for now. 404 00:25:49,898 --> 00:25:51,958 Mr. Donfield. 405 00:25:54,536 --> 00:25:57,529 You have passed the point of no return. 406 00:25:59,341 --> 00:26:03,335 You've been photographed and recorded selling out your country. 407 00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:07,574 I see. 408 00:26:10,385 --> 00:26:12,081 I'll need all your data immediately. 409 00:26:12,754 --> 00:26:16,714 Directives, locations, production costs, formula. 410 00:26:17,859 --> 00:26:18,952 I'll need time. 411 00:26:19,127 --> 00:26:21,756 You have until tomorrow night at 10 p.m. 412 00:26:21,930 --> 00:26:24,490 SOLO: Let's get down to it, shall we? 413 00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:27,966 If we can't complete the transaction by the next contact... 414 00:26:28,136 --> 00:26:29,934 forget it. 415 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,303 Patience, darling. 416 00:26:33,475 --> 00:26:38,470 I'm sure the doctor will give you your final examination at your next appointment. 417 00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:42,116 [SMITH CHUCKLES] 418 00:26:43,785 --> 00:26:46,152 [SIGHS] 419 00:26:49,391 --> 00:26:51,326 [LINKWOOD HUMMING] 420 00:26:53,628 --> 00:26:57,565 I've just met him outside. I think he's ready. 421 00:26:57,732 --> 00:26:59,394 Yes. 422 00:26:59,567 --> 00:27:03,902 I think it's time for our friend to conclude the negotiation. 423 00:27:14,249 --> 00:27:16,411 - I don't like it. - Oh, come, come. 424 00:27:16,584 --> 00:27:20,646 You are not at home, always in tune with the gentle nuances of plot and counterplot. 425 00:27:20,822 --> 00:27:24,350 The sly schemes of ambitious friends. You know even better than I... 426 00:27:24,526 --> 00:27:27,963 the importance of securing all possible information about Strigas. 427 00:27:28,129 --> 00:27:31,065 How can you be sure that Donfield won't take the money... 428 00:27:31,232 --> 00:27:33,895 and in return give you the formula for floor wax... 429 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:37,301 or some other ridiculous capitalistic product? 430 00:27:38,106 --> 00:27:41,304 In the field of diplomacy, Excellency, you are without equal. 431 00:27:41,476 --> 00:27:44,412 But when it comes to direct espionage... 432 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:50,651 you would be wiser to leave events to professionals such as myself. 433 00:27:51,086 --> 00:27:52,611 Thank you. 434 00:27:52,854 --> 00:27:56,484 But this is to be my own personal coup. 435 00:28:00,628 --> 00:28:02,221 - So? - Linkwood just phoned. 436 00:28:02,397 --> 00:28:04,366 Mr. Donfield has arrived at the apartment. 437 00:28:04,532 --> 00:28:07,559 - I have a car waiting at the entrance. - Good. 438 00:28:09,904 --> 00:28:12,738 At least let me come with you. I can examine the documents. 439 00:28:12,907 --> 00:28:15,809 I have a great deal of experience in these matters. 440 00:28:15,977 --> 00:28:18,344 That might be very wise. 441 00:28:18,580 --> 00:28:21,049 All right, come along, but only as an observer. 442 00:28:21,216 --> 00:28:24,277 But, Excellency, as your aide it should be my place to go with you. 443 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:28,583 As my aide, you would do best by staying out of sight. 444 00:28:28,757 --> 00:28:31,659 Now, you remain here until we return. 445 00:28:46,908 --> 00:28:49,207 Code room, this is Vladeck here. 446 00:28:49,377 --> 00:28:51,676 Have you not yet broken the premier's response... 447 00:28:51,846 --> 00:28:55,283 to my request for information on Colonel Michaelovitch Donyev? 448 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:16,767 Here's to a good year, Mr. Donfield. 449 00:29:20,575 --> 00:29:22,134 MICHAEL: No, thank you. - Ha, ha, ha. 450 00:29:22,377 --> 00:29:25,313 You needn't be afraid, it isn't drugged. 451 00:29:31,586 --> 00:29:34,488 Are you sure that you slipped out without Mr. Solo's knowledge? 452 00:29:34,656 --> 00:29:37,490 I slipped Mr. Solo a sedative in his coffee at dinner. 453 00:29:37,659 --> 00:29:38,659 Good. 454 00:29:38,827 --> 00:29:40,420 [DOORBELL RINGS] 455 00:29:48,770 --> 00:29:51,706 - All is in readiness, Excellency. KURASOV: I'll handle it from here. 456 00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:54,809 - Good evening, Mr. Donfield. MICHAEL: Is that my money? 457 00:29:54,976 --> 00:29:57,309 - Is that my information? MICHAEL: Maybe. 458 00:29:57,478 --> 00:29:58,639 KURASOV: May I see? 459 00:29:58,813 --> 00:30:01,248 You may have an hors d'oeuvre. 460 00:30:08,022 --> 00:30:11,390 A photostat of the original letter sent to the president... 461 00:30:11,559 --> 00:30:14,427 urging immediate development of Strigas. 462 00:30:15,029 --> 00:30:18,796 And now, just what is Strigas? 463 00:30:21,002 --> 00:30:23,335 It stands for "strike gas." 464 00:30:23,838 --> 00:30:24,965 And its function? 465 00:30:26,107 --> 00:30:32,069 To provide the White House with the answer to the strategy of overkill. 466 00:30:35,049 --> 00:30:37,484 The White House now has that answer? 467 00:30:37,986 --> 00:30:40,046 In the form of a harmless chemical... 468 00:30:40,221 --> 00:30:44,181 capable of putting entire rural and urban populations to sleep. 469 00:30:44,359 --> 00:30:46,089 The advantages are obvious. 470 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:51,632 When the effects wear off, the invaded nation is conquered but physically intact. 471 00:30:52,166 --> 00:30:54,533 Well, I have heard of American nerve gas... 472 00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:58,867 where one drop will kill but... But this... 473 00:31:00,074 --> 00:31:01,667 Let me see what you have. 474 00:31:09,784 --> 00:31:11,412 What trick is this? 475 00:31:11,586 --> 00:31:13,350 Telephone books. 476 00:31:13,521 --> 00:31:15,046 Old newspapers. 477 00:31:15,223 --> 00:31:17,317 A lot of junk. 478 00:31:18,526 --> 00:31:21,860 What have you got in your briefcase? Cigar-store coupons? 479 00:31:23,331 --> 00:31:26,665 You are a very cautious man, Mr. Donfield. 480 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:31,671 All right, here you are. 481 00:31:35,677 --> 00:31:36,677 [MICHAEL WHISTLES] 482 00:31:36,844 --> 00:31:39,939 The balance of your million dollars. 483 00:31:40,815 --> 00:31:42,443 So? 484 00:31:50,558 --> 00:31:52,220 MICHAEL: So... 485 00:32:10,611 --> 00:32:12,239 ILLYA [AS DONYEV]: This map? 486 00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:14,794 MICHAEL: Red circles indicate the underground locations... 487 00:32:14,949 --> 00:32:16,144 of the plants in Alaska... 488 00:32:16,317 --> 00:32:19,185 already manufacturing Strigas in mass quantities. 489 00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:21,755 The blue circles indicate the ICBMs... 490 00:32:21,923 --> 00:32:26,827 and the Strategic Air Force bombers allocated for delivery. 491 00:32:28,229 --> 00:32:30,562 Those are the primary targets. 492 00:32:30,999 --> 00:32:34,401 Methods of assembly, analysis, production. 493 00:32:34,569 --> 00:32:35,935 And what is this? 494 00:32:36,637 --> 00:32:38,128 The formula for Strigas. 495 00:32:52,854 --> 00:32:54,288 Well? 496 00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:58,588 ILLYA: It appears to be correct. - Appears. 497 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,127 This paper represents my promotion... 498 00:33:01,295 --> 00:33:04,788 to the position of first deputy premier. 499 00:33:05,533 --> 00:33:06,533 Mr. Donfield... 500 00:33:06,701 --> 00:33:09,330 take your money. You deserve it. 501 00:33:09,504 --> 00:33:14,465 - Mr. Linkwood, how about having a drink. - Of course, Your Excellency. 502 00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:17,811 KURASOV: Would you like to join us for a drink? 503 00:33:17,979 --> 00:33:20,448 No, thank you. I don't drink. 504 00:33:27,088 --> 00:33:28,989 VLADECK: Move back, please. 505 00:33:30,558 --> 00:33:33,585 And what do you think you're doing, you fool? 506 00:33:33,761 --> 00:33:37,061 I sent a cable to the premier. In your name, Excellency... 507 00:33:37,231 --> 00:33:42,101 requesting verification of the courier he was to have sent. Here is his reply. 508 00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:49,236 KURASOV: He says he has sent no one. 509 00:33:49,877 --> 00:33:52,142 The premier does not dare to confirm the secret. 510 00:33:52,313 --> 00:33:55,511 He dares. My cablegram stressed the dangers to us all. 511 00:33:55,683 --> 00:33:57,584 Then who are these two men? 512 00:33:57,752 --> 00:33:59,653 Indeed, who? 513 00:33:59,854 --> 00:34:01,846 Who were you two working for? 514 00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:03,652 The CIA? 515 00:34:03,825 --> 00:34:05,293 The French Deuxième Bureau? 516 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:07,895 The British Fourth Section? 517 00:34:08,529 --> 00:34:11,693 Colonel Donyev, or whoever you are. 518 00:34:11,866 --> 00:34:14,233 You will return with us to the embassy. 519 00:34:14,402 --> 00:34:18,339 And I assure you, before the sun rises, both of you will tell me everything. 520 00:34:18,773 --> 00:34:20,969 I will tell you nothing. 521 00:34:21,742 --> 00:34:25,042 We all know the price of failure, gentlemen. 522 00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:30,577 [GAGGING] 523 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,722 The scent of bitter almonds. 524 00:34:41,896 --> 00:34:43,558 Cyanide. 525 00:34:45,233 --> 00:34:48,829 KURASOV: Are you planning to use the same route of escape? 526 00:34:49,937 --> 00:34:51,906 In that case... 527 00:34:52,073 --> 00:34:55,373 I will give you exactly one hour to dispose of your companion. 528 00:34:56,110 --> 00:34:59,444 If Mr. Linkwood returns to this apartment and still finds his body here... 529 00:35:00,014 --> 00:35:03,883 we will see to it that the police have definite proof that you killed him. 530 00:35:04,051 --> 00:35:05,713 Goodbye. 531 00:35:10,224 --> 00:35:12,386 Get the money, you fool. 532 00:35:22,036 --> 00:35:23,595 Illya. 533 00:35:24,238 --> 00:35:25,968 Illya. 534 00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:32,143 - Illya, you didn't really... - No, I didn't really. 535 00:35:32,313 --> 00:35:35,511 But when Mr. Waverly finds out what happened, I'll wish I had. 536 00:35:41,522 --> 00:35:42,522 Well... 537 00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:43,690 [SIGHS] 538 00:35:43,858 --> 00:35:45,417 there goes the ballgame. 539 00:35:59,740 --> 00:36:01,504 MICHAEL: I'm sorry. 540 00:36:02,310 --> 00:36:04,142 I thought we had him. 541 00:36:04,312 --> 00:36:06,042 He almost swallowed the hook. 542 00:36:06,214 --> 00:36:07,682 Almost. 543 00:36:07,848 --> 00:36:11,910 A word that sticks edgewise in the throat to strangle one. 544 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:13,380 Still... 545 00:36:14,222 --> 00:36:15,713 it was a lovely scheme. 546 00:36:15,890 --> 00:36:20,294 Yes, it's too lovely to blow at this stage. There must be some way to recoup. 547 00:36:20,461 --> 00:36:22,225 Do you have any ideas, Illya? 548 00:36:22,396 --> 00:36:25,195 How can I have ideas? I'm dead. 549 00:36:25,366 --> 00:36:28,768 - You almost had me believing it there. - That's right. 550 00:36:29,170 --> 00:36:31,639 That is right. 551 00:36:31,872 --> 00:36:35,604 You are dead, mm-hm. 552 00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:38,075 But who sent you? 553 00:36:38,246 --> 00:36:39,509 What are you talking about? 554 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,512 Shh. He has an idea. 555 00:36:41,682 --> 00:36:44,117 It's terribly important that Ambassador Kurasov... 556 00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:48,780 know who you work for, my dear Colonel Michaelovitch Donyev. 557 00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:50,185 Open Channel D. 558 00:36:50,358 --> 00:36:51,358 [RADIO BEEPS] 559 00:36:51,525 --> 00:36:54,017 Alert Section Four, Photography and Documents... 560 00:36:54,195 --> 00:36:57,359 for an emergency operation. I'll be there in 15 minutes. 561 00:36:59,567 --> 00:37:01,468 MICHAEL: What can we do now? 562 00:37:01,969 --> 00:37:04,666 SOLO: You and I are going to have some special pictures taken. 563 00:37:04,839 --> 00:37:07,104 Illya, I want you to stay and wait for Mr. Linkwood. 564 00:37:07,275 --> 00:37:11,770 And then bring him home, alive and unmarked. 565 00:37:11,946 --> 00:37:14,882 Must you qualify your requests? 566 00:37:36,704 --> 00:37:38,468 [SIGHS] 567 00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:41,035 Oh, no, no. 568 00:37:41,642 --> 00:37:43,838 I thought you'd be gone. 569 00:37:44,011 --> 00:37:46,276 But where would I go? 570 00:37:46,881 --> 00:37:48,782 [STAMMERING] 571 00:37:48,949 --> 00:37:49,973 You're dead. 572 00:37:50,418 --> 00:37:53,081 Well, in which case, this should not hurt you at all. 573 00:37:53,554 --> 00:37:54,988 [LINKWOOD GRUNTS] 574 00:37:58,125 --> 00:38:00,822 WAVERLY: Well, I'm sorry about the rough stuff. 575 00:38:01,462 --> 00:38:05,194 But believe me, Mr. Kuryakin was handling you almost tenderly... 576 00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:08,962 in comparison with what he plans to do to you. 577 00:38:10,004 --> 00:38:11,666 However... 578 00:38:11,839 --> 00:38:15,435 I might persuade him to allow you to go on living. 579 00:38:15,609 --> 00:38:20,104 Provided you tell us a few odds and ends about Mr. Kurasov... 580 00:38:20,281 --> 00:38:23,649 about your intelligence apparatus. 581 00:38:26,253 --> 00:38:27,253 No? 582 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:30,548 It's a pity. 583 00:38:31,158 --> 00:38:34,560 We'd have been happier with you if you'd volunteered the information. 584 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:39,224 As it is, when we get the information from you without your cooperation... 585 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,895 I might not be able to help you. 586 00:38:43,671 --> 00:38:48,609 You know, it's criminal the way truth drugs in a cigarette destroys smoking pleasure. 587 00:38:52,079 --> 00:38:54,708 In 15 seconds you're going to tell us everything we want. 588 00:38:54,882 --> 00:38:56,942 That's how long before the drug takes effect. 589 00:38:57,118 --> 00:38:59,280 Afterwards, we'll toss you back to Illya. 590 00:39:03,324 --> 00:39:06,294 No, no, that won't be necessary. I'll tell you. 591 00:39:08,963 --> 00:39:12,832 Kurasov has very little to do with the espionage apparatus. 592 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,731 SOLO: Yes. - He's primarily a diplomatic. 593 00:39:15,903 --> 00:39:20,307 SOLO: I see. - Mr. Smith is the chief of, uh, my unit. 594 00:39:20,474 --> 00:39:24,502 She sends reports directly back to General Kolodin... 595 00:39:24,678 --> 00:39:28,979 through the diplomatic pouches. And that's where Kurasov comes in. 596 00:39:36,424 --> 00:39:39,053 It must be more than 15 seconds. 597 00:39:39,226 --> 00:39:41,525 I don't feel any change. 598 00:39:41,695 --> 00:39:43,357 Why should you? 599 00:39:43,531 --> 00:39:46,296 You know, some people find Turkish cigarettes very strong... 600 00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:50,734 but actually you can get to, uh, like them quite quickly. 601 00:39:58,078 --> 00:39:59,671 All right. 602 00:39:59,847 --> 00:40:01,839 You can do what you want to me. 603 00:40:02,016 --> 00:40:03,917 I'm not going to tell you any more. 604 00:40:05,352 --> 00:40:07,218 I doubt that. 605 00:40:08,422 --> 00:40:11,449 We've done for you as you did for Donfield. 606 00:40:13,027 --> 00:40:17,431 These tapes and this film could find their way to General Kolodin. 607 00:40:18,032 --> 00:40:22,299 I understand he disposes of his mistakes by garrote. 608 00:40:25,005 --> 00:40:26,701 You're our animal now. 609 00:40:27,475 --> 00:40:28,475 What do you want? 610 00:40:29,577 --> 00:40:33,412 There's just one small errand we'd like you to perform. 611 00:40:33,581 --> 00:40:35,174 What's that? 612 00:40:35,349 --> 00:40:39,684 You will go to the embassy and awaken Ambassador Kurasov. 613 00:40:39,887 --> 00:40:41,981 And then you will say to him: 614 00:40:42,423 --> 00:40:44,255 "When I return..." 615 00:40:45,292 --> 00:40:47,659 And when I returned... 616 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:50,491 the body was still on the floor. 617 00:40:50,731 --> 00:40:54,259 Donfield had apparently bolted, leaving things as they were. 618 00:40:54,435 --> 00:40:57,963 But before I could set in motion the steps to implicate him for murder... 619 00:40:58,138 --> 00:41:01,700 I received an urgent message from our Z Section. 620 00:41:02,276 --> 00:41:06,236 Colonel Michaelovitch Donyev... 621 00:41:06,413 --> 00:41:09,178 it seems, is one of our people. 622 00:41:09,350 --> 00:41:12,718 What are you saying? Vladeck has the communication from the premier. 623 00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:14,685 The premier didn't send the colonel. 624 00:41:14,855 --> 00:41:17,188 General Kolodin sent him secretly. 625 00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:20,088 General Kolodin wanted Strigas for himself. 626 00:41:20,261 --> 00:41:22,890 I do not believe it. Now, what proof do you have of this? 627 00:41:23,063 --> 00:41:24,063 [STAMMERS] 628 00:41:24,231 --> 00:41:26,257 I felt as you, Excellency. 629 00:41:26,433 --> 00:41:29,267 And that's why I went to Donyev's place. I tore it apart. 630 00:41:29,803 --> 00:41:32,466 And I found this suitcase there. 631 00:41:32,673 --> 00:41:35,939 It has a false bottom here inside. 632 00:41:36,110 --> 00:41:37,373 You can see here. 633 00:41:37,545 --> 00:41:39,275 - What is it, Laslo? LINKWOOD: Colonel... 634 00:41:39,446 --> 00:41:42,644 Colonel Donyev had been trailing, uh... 635 00:41:43,183 --> 00:41:45,243 Donfield and Mr. Solo for weeks. 636 00:41:45,419 --> 00:41:47,854 He took these photographs with a telephoto lens. 637 00:41:48,022 --> 00:41:52,619 Here you can see he caught them entering the White House for conferences. 638 00:41:52,793 --> 00:41:55,319 Now, these tape recordings. 639 00:41:55,496 --> 00:41:58,694 They are conversations from the White House to Donfield. 640 00:41:58,866 --> 00:42:01,495 The colonel discovered a direct line and tapped it. 641 00:42:01,669 --> 00:42:04,070 - What is all the excitement about? KURASOV: Shh! 642 00:42:04,238 --> 00:42:07,504 VLADECK: But, Excellency, why should Colonel Donyev kill himself? 643 00:42:07,675 --> 00:42:10,167 It is all your fault. Don't you know that even now? 644 00:42:10,344 --> 00:42:11,539 He failed Kolodin. 645 00:42:11,712 --> 00:42:12,712 We had exposed them. 646 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,405 It was all to be my coup. 647 00:42:14,582 --> 00:42:18,383 If he had talked, I would have destroyed Kolodin after my promotion. 648 00:42:18,552 --> 00:42:20,612 I had it all in my hands, and I threw it away. 649 00:42:20,788 --> 00:42:24,384 - Really, what have you thrown...? - Will you stop talking? 650 00:42:24,558 --> 00:42:27,858 I'm afraid, Excellency, you have thrown away all our lives. 651 00:42:28,028 --> 00:42:31,624 When General Kolodin discovers that we destroyed his agent... 652 00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:34,598 that we let Strigas slip through our hands... 653 00:42:34,768 --> 00:42:36,737 he'll turn us to the central committee. 654 00:42:36,904 --> 00:42:38,600 - You know his mind. - Oh, yes. 655 00:42:38,772 --> 00:42:41,833 And he will claim that we violated his area of authority. 656 00:42:42,009 --> 00:42:44,205 That we bungled his operation. 657 00:42:44,378 --> 00:42:46,643 That we destroyed his apparatus. 658 00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,249 And then he will have us killed. 659 00:42:51,785 --> 00:42:53,413 Unless... 660 00:42:54,154 --> 00:42:55,679 Unless, Excellency? 661 00:42:56,557 --> 00:43:00,688 Unless, I send home Strigas. 662 00:43:03,797 --> 00:43:05,837 - Running away? MICHAEL: Of course I'm running away. 663 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,902 ANNE: Will you get out of here? MICHAEL: What do you think I'd be doing? 664 00:43:09,069 --> 00:43:11,595 ANNE: Why couldn't you leave him alone? - So you've told her. 665 00:43:11,772 --> 00:43:15,265 I only meant to enrich your husband, my dear. Really, this is not necessary. 666 00:43:15,442 --> 00:43:17,434 MICHAEL: What am I gonna do? Hang around here? 667 00:43:17,611 --> 00:43:20,240 You boys are cute. You kill each other. You pin it on me. 668 00:43:20,414 --> 00:43:24,510 You get up evidence against me for immorality and treason and murder. 669 00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:26,551 And what else? Oh, you do a great job. 670 00:43:26,987 --> 00:43:32,654 Ha, this is all a great misunderstanding that can be very easily cleaned up. 671 00:43:34,261 --> 00:43:37,060 Well, no, thank you. You've done enough for me already. 672 00:43:37,231 --> 00:43:39,152 I'm getting out while I have the chance. 673 00:43:39,176 --> 00:43:41,259 Now, we will get rid of the colonel's body. 674 00:43:41,435 --> 00:43:43,301 That will eliminate the murder charge. 675 00:43:44,238 --> 00:43:48,573 And then, when you and I have completed our little arrangement... 676 00:43:48,742 --> 00:43:50,711 you will be wealthy again. 677 00:43:50,878 --> 00:43:53,609 And you can still retain your position of trust. 678 00:43:53,781 --> 00:43:55,773 Mike, you can't believe anything he says. 679 00:43:55,949 --> 00:44:00,011 Madam, I assure you, I want no trouble, no more than you do. 680 00:44:00,454 --> 00:44:02,582 Now, where are those documents? 681 00:44:03,424 --> 00:44:05,655 So now you believe me? Now? 682 00:44:08,328 --> 00:44:10,559 Now you wanna buy in again? 683 00:44:11,532 --> 00:44:12,795 Why? 684 00:44:12,966 --> 00:44:14,764 - Why need not concern you. ANNE: Mike. 685 00:44:14,935 --> 00:44:17,871 KURASOV: There is an airplane leaving within one hour for my nation. 686 00:44:18,038 --> 00:44:19,939 Those papers of yours must be aboard. 687 00:44:20,107 --> 00:44:22,633 Close our deal now or I will kill you both. 688 00:44:24,311 --> 00:44:26,837 The papers are where they were. 689 00:44:34,288 --> 00:44:36,280 Are these the papers? 690 00:44:38,692 --> 00:44:40,285 They're all here. 691 00:44:40,461 --> 00:44:44,694 Within 24 hours, I shall be the hero who secured Strigas for the secretariat. 692 00:44:45,132 --> 00:44:46,862 General Kolodin will be dead. 693 00:44:47,701 --> 00:44:49,932 You, my dear friend, I will reward later. 694 00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:51,970 I ask nothing, Your Excellency. 695 00:44:52,139 --> 00:44:54,734 Let all the credit be yours. 696 00:44:55,676 --> 00:44:58,475 Mr. Donfield, I'm going to keep your coat. 697 00:44:59,379 --> 00:45:01,507 Why don't you buy yourself another one? 698 00:45:02,249 --> 00:45:04,218 You can afford it. 699 00:45:10,591 --> 00:45:12,583 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 700 00:45:14,428 --> 00:45:16,556 [MICHAEL CHEERS] 701 00:45:19,366 --> 00:45:20,994 I'll watch from up close now. 702 00:45:21,168 --> 00:45:24,161 You two were wonderful. It's a very professional act. 703 00:45:24,671 --> 00:45:25,695 The fish has bitten? 704 00:45:25,873 --> 00:45:28,502 SOLO: And been reeled in. Now to put him in the frying pan. 705 00:45:28,675 --> 00:45:30,234 Our pilot is waiting. 706 00:45:30,410 --> 00:45:32,311 What are you gonna do with all that money? 707 00:45:32,479 --> 00:45:35,278 Uh, deposit it. You see, before we started this... 708 00:45:35,449 --> 00:45:38,351 we arranged for a safety-deposit box in a Swiss bank. 709 00:45:38,519 --> 00:45:41,284 Now, although the box is not in Ambassador Kurasov's name... 710 00:45:41,455 --> 00:45:43,617 we've managed to have information leaked... 711 00:45:43,791 --> 00:45:46,989 makes it appear as though it is Kurasov's own box. 712 00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:49,130 The general's agents have been watching it. 713 00:45:49,296 --> 00:45:51,765 Now, into that box goes this million dollars. 714 00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:56,194 General Kolodin has the serial numbers of all the monies issued. 715 00:45:56,370 --> 00:45:58,100 Including the numbers of these notes. 716 00:45:59,606 --> 00:46:01,768 Why, that's absolutely diabolical. 717 00:46:02,709 --> 00:46:03,709 We try. 718 00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:09,514 - Would you help me, Laslo, darling? - Of course, my dear. 719 00:46:09,683 --> 00:46:12,118 And may I tell you how lovely you look. 720 00:46:12,286 --> 00:46:14,118 Why, thank you, dear. 721 00:46:14,288 --> 00:46:17,281 You know, you seem very pleased with yourself these days. 722 00:46:17,457 --> 00:46:20,450 - Are you anticipating something? - Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. 723 00:46:20,627 --> 00:46:22,960 - Perhaps a little surprise. - Surprise? 724 00:46:23,130 --> 00:46:27,727 Something on the order of our returning home as first secretary, perhaps? 725 00:46:27,901 --> 00:46:30,598 Laslo, have you heard something? 726 00:46:33,140 --> 00:46:36,235 And since when do you enter without knocking? 727 00:46:36,410 --> 00:46:38,879 A thousand pardons, Excellency. 728 00:46:39,046 --> 00:46:41,277 But I had some news that could not wait. 729 00:46:41,448 --> 00:46:43,246 A dispatch from home. 730 00:46:43,417 --> 00:46:45,977 KURASOV: We're to return, yes? - Yes. 731 00:46:46,153 --> 00:46:47,314 You are to return. 732 00:46:47,487 --> 00:46:49,149 On the very next plane. 733 00:46:49,323 --> 00:46:51,087 You see, my darling? 734 00:46:51,258 --> 00:46:52,817 Tell me. 735 00:46:53,026 --> 00:46:54,289 Was there something else? 736 00:46:54,461 --> 00:46:57,124 Something about an advancement? 737 00:46:57,297 --> 00:47:01,462 Oh, yes. I have been advanced to take your position. 738 00:47:01,635 --> 00:47:03,160 I am now the ambassador. 739 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:06,404 Yes. We will see about that when I get home. 740 00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:09,702 VLADECK: When you return home, you will be very busy... 741 00:47:09,877 --> 00:47:13,245 explaining to the secretariat why you sent them the formula... 742 00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:15,177 for American floor wax. 743 00:47:16,650 --> 00:47:19,017 What is he talking about? 744 00:47:21,655 --> 00:47:23,715 But it can't be. 745 00:47:23,924 --> 00:47:26,792 I sent them the plans for Strigas. 746 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,758 They know nothing of Strigas. 747 00:47:28,929 --> 00:47:31,262 They believe it doesn't exist. 748 00:47:31,431 --> 00:47:33,024 You sent them floor wax. 749 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:34,964 Now, wait a minute. 750 00:47:35,335 --> 00:47:38,328 There is some mistake. An honest mistake. 751 00:47:38,505 --> 00:47:40,064 I was only doing my duty. 752 00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:41,936 Your duty? 753 00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:45,238 Well, General Kolodin has a few questions. 754 00:47:45,412 --> 00:47:48,405 Something about a million dollars of our government's money... 755 00:47:48,582 --> 00:47:52,280 discovered in your safety-deposit box in Switzerland. 756 00:47:52,619 --> 00:47:55,020 What are you talking about? 757 00:47:55,188 --> 00:47:58,420 The general will explain it all to you upon your arrival. 758 00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:01,455 I believe you know these two gentlemen... 759 00:48:01,862 --> 00:48:03,694 from our Z Section. 760 00:48:03,864 --> 00:48:08,427 They will take you to the airport and accompany you on your trip. 761 00:48:09,736 --> 00:48:10,736 And now... 762 00:48:13,407 --> 00:48:15,899 Get out of here, you fool. 763 00:48:31,892 --> 00:48:33,520 SOLO: Goodbye. 764 00:48:39,032 --> 00:48:40,591 Have a good flight. 765 00:48:40,767 --> 00:48:42,395 Wear a warm coat. 766 00:48:53,513 --> 00:48:57,041 I'd give you a pill, but it failed to work with me, you see. 767 00:48:58,552 --> 00:49:00,544 [MUTTERING IN EASTERN EUROPEAN LANGUAGE] 768 00:49:04,458 --> 00:49:06,324 Well, what's the next case? 769 00:49:06,493 --> 00:49:10,430 Uh, heh, I'm the next case. 770 00:50:19,066 --> 00:50:21,058 [ENGLISH SDH]